What to do when...

a meeting goes terribly bad...

NO IDEA!

I've been in bad meetings before. I think there are varying degrees of "bad" concerning meetings. Low on the scale would be the kind of meeting where nothing gets accomplished and we all "hang out" for 4 hours. Although I would consider that I "bad" meeting, I'm talking about the kind of meeting where the leader just quits everything, lays his head down and just stop dead in his tracks and then proceeds to yell at the leadership team...

Before the melt down, we were all discussing in a very loving and kind manner how to move forward with some of the events we are trying to plan. One of big issues comes in because we can't make decisions without the wife of the couple, who is the one with the final say, and happened to not be at our meeting. Awesome...nothing can get done. So when we asked this man, what can we do to get things moving on this event that is coming up in 2 weeks, there was no response. And the answer is nothing because EVERYTHING has to go through his wife...we can't even plan another meeting and ask her to be there...nothing happens...youth events are put on hold because the man isn't allowed to make simple decisions without his wife...(let's not start on the other issues that come up with this.) So there is frustration, a team wanting to help, move forward, push the main youth leaders forward to success, but zero power/authority to make any move. Our legs are cut from under us. So, we push just a bit, in a kind caring way, to help this guy make a small decision that will help us as a leadership team move forward...and bam. The meltdown happens.

Anyway back to thinking about leadership...

Joel and I were talking about it and in the military if the leader (captain/lieutenant) quit and talked about being a failure while a battle was raging around them, all of his men would worry about how they'd get out of the situation before them...they would be screwed and most likely, would all die. In the military, hopefully, the leaders wouldn't do that. If this does happen, someone steps up into the leading position. That's one of the reasons there is a hierarchy of leadership...

But what happens when this occurs in the church? What is the correct response? In church, the rules are different. I would say most of the time (if not all of the time) people come before the mission. Jesus is about restoration and redemption. And I fully believe he can restore and redeem this messed up situation through/with these people in leadership. But when do you say, enough? It is up to the discretion of the main pastors to do the real decision making with what to do with this couple. They have to be wise and discern the will of the Lord; do we wait along with the couple for the Lord's transforming work in them as leaders, keeping them in their current position or do they get asked to step down until there is some growth/maturity/transformation in them as leaders?

Of course I have my opinion on how things should go. I just pray that I am compassionate and understanding in dealing with this couple's heart. I really don't want relationships to be broken whether that's on an individual level or on a bigger level, like between them and the church. I want to see them empowered to move forward in their marriage and family life.

I am so thankful that Jesus works in us and through us despite us. He uses messed up, jacked up people to further His kingdom.

I admit I have a tendency to think that I have more figured out than this couple. I pray that my eyes not be bind to my own sin and shortcomings. And that in whatever position I am in, I lead by serving in humility.